Deciding when to make your relationship status known to your outer circle is a very personal choice. For some people, making the switch from "single" to "in a relationship" just isn’t that big of a deal, but for others, it’s an important public acknowledgment of the partnership. For those who’ve ever wondered when you should become Facebook official (FBO), the general answer is that it all depends on what makes you and your partner most comfortable.
According to NYC-based relationship expert and love coach Susan Winter, you might actually be able to make the status change sooner than you think. "[Becoming Facebook official] can happen rather quickly," Winter tells Elite Daily. "Once you’ve both determined you’re in a relationship and ready to be known as a ‘couple,’ you’d also be ready to present yourselves as such on social media."
But, wait! Before you make the switch, Winter recommends checking in with your new bae to make sure they’re OK with it. "You need to talk about it," says Winter. "Don’t assume anything before you discuss this with your mate. There could be valid reasons why they prefer not to share that information with the general public, but make sure their reasons are well-founded and not a dodge."
If they say they’re not ready to be FBO, hear them out and try to figure out what’s holding them back. Before you commit to someone, it’s important to have a clear sense of who they are and to pay attention if you feel like they might have something to hide. Do they post pictures of you on social media and encourage you to do the same? Or are they sketchy about leaving any digital trace that you two are an item? If the former is true, then perhaps they just want to take things slow before they brag about you to the world. Although, Winter urges people to stay alert to any signals their new bae isn’t being honest.
"They could be involved with others or have secret accounts for micro-cheating and flirtation," warns Winter. So pay attention if they can’t give you a solid reason why they want to hold off on becoming social-media official. However, as always, being open and honest about your feelings is key. Becoming FBO might not hold any importance for them, so if you’re wondering why they haven’t changed their relationship status, just ask.
"This is an individual preference, it doesn’t hold any significance unless it bothers [you or] your partner," says Winter. "If, however, they’re your lover in private and claim to be your partner, then they’d need a valid reason why you’re hidden from the public. Social media inclusion/exclusion needs to be a real discussion in any modern relationship. The two of you need to be on the same page."
Once you’ve let your partner know how you feel and what you expect as it relates to the social media etiquette surrounding your relationship, it’s up to you both to decide how to proceed. Winter advises that if becoming FBO is important to you, you should fight for it. There’s nothing wrong about advocating for what you need to feel secure, so don’t be afraid to keep it 100 with your bae.
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