Woman reveals the 'cruel' thing a Tinder match said to her after sex

Single woman reveals the devastating comment a man made to her after sex – and she was ‘mortified’ by his ‘cruel’ words

  • A woman has revealed the most upsetting thing ever said to her after sex
  • She had been single for over a year when she met a man in his mid 30s on Tinder
  • They dated, then slept together after three weeks of getting to know each other
  • She was delighted and thought the sex was ‘great’ – but her beau felt differently
  • He devastated her by saying they were not ‘sexually compatible’ 

A single woman has revealed the most upsetting thing a man has ever said to her after sex.

The Australian woman, who shared her experience anonymously with 9Honey, had been single for over a year when she met a charming man in his mid-thirties on Tinder.

Delighted to have finally found someone she clicked with after her long-term relationship fell apart, she said they enjoyed a ‘really good’ first date which ended with kissing but nothing more.

‘I finally thought that it was a good thing that my ex had broken up with me,’ she said. 

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An Australian woman was elated to have met a charming new man on Tinder, but things took a turn when they slept together after three weeks of dating (stock image)

Three weeks and a bouquet of Valentines Day flowers sent to her office later, the woman felt it was time they slept together and invited her new beau over for dinner.

‘I though the sex was great. In fact, it made me realise that my ex was very selfish in bed, but [her new lover] was loving and attentive and I was so happy,’ she recalled.

That was until she stepped out of the shower to hear him say: ‘Wow, we’re just not sexually compatible, are we?’

The woman couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

‘From my point of view, we’d just had fantastic sex, so what was missing? I asked him what he was talking about – wasn’t it good for him too?’ she wondered.

He explained that he simply wasn’t sexually attracted to her and felt they would be better off as ‘good mates’.

Devastated, mortified and fighting back tears, the woman told him it was a ‘very cruel’ thing to say to someone he had just been intimate with.

He agreed it may have been insensitive, but he said he thought it was best to tell her face to face rather than say it over text message after he left.

The ill-fated couple parted as ‘friends’ – but perhaps it’s no wonder they never saw each other again.

Navigating the modern dating field can be a minefield, more nuanced than ever before thanks to social media and dating apps that spoil singles for choice (and then some).

Relationship coach Louanne Ward tries to help men and women by deciphering what each gender is really looking for in her popular Facebook group, She Said He Said.

In May, an online survey conducted by the Perth dating expert found women are most attracted to funny, loyal and confident men who are trustworthy and aren’t afraid to laugh at themselves.

Men on the other hand are most likely to be drawn to honest, confident women with an appetite for fun, Ms Ward discovered.

Ms Ward says the core values underpinning human attraction are the same for both sexes, who value honesty, intelligence and loyalty – though not in the same order

What men value most in women


 1. Honesty 21.3 percent

2. Confidence 20 percent

3. Playfulness 18 percent

4. Kindness/Gratefulness 14 percent

5. Loyalty 12.6 percent


 1. Eyes 41.6 percent

2. Smile 29.6 percent

3. Bum 12.2 percent

4. Breasts 9.2 percent

5. Legs 7.4 percent

 Source: Louanne Ward via She Said He Said

What women value most in men


1. Humour 19.6 percent

2. Loyalty and charisma 18.3 percent 

3. Honesty 17 percent

4. Intelligence 14.37 percent

5. Kindness 12.4 percent


 1. Eyes 27.3 percent

2. Smile 21 percent

3. Good teeth 18.75 percent

4. Height 18.75 percent

5. Their penis 14.1 percent 

Source: Louanne Ward via She Said He Said

Yet despite these differences, both sexes are in almost full agreement about their most sought after attributes.

‘They are the same except men rate attitude over intelligence and vice versa which proves through all the differences, the fundamental core and foundation for a relationship isn’t as gender biased as people believe,’ Ms Ward told Daily Mail Australia.

‘There are certainly differences due to preference of personality, lifestyle and life experiences, but humans are humans and our basic requirements are what they are.’

Follow Louanne Ward on Facebook or read more dating tips on her website. 

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