She ain’t heavy, she’s my lover.
Former Gov. Eliot Spitzer used to smuggle his Russian-escort mistress into the luxury Upper East Side home he shared with his wife — by stuffing her inside a piece of luggage, she told The Post.
“He used to sneak me into his Fifth Avenue apartment in a black suitcase . . . when his wife was away,’’ Svetlana Travis Zakharova told The Post in an exclusive interview.
“My knees would be up by my face. When the doorman would ask if he could help, Eliot would say, ‘No, thanks.’ ”
Zakharova revealed the sleazeball sneak tactic — which she said the pair pulled off about 15 times at Eliot and Silda Spitzer’s home — as her lawyer prepared a new push to put the disgraced former pol behind bars.
The Russian sexpot first hit the headlines in early 2016 when she accused Spitzer of choking her during a sex-session-gone-awry at The Plaza hotel in Midtown.
Now, Zakharova’s Queens lawyer, Joseph Murray, is asking Manhattan US Attorney Geoffrey Berman to investigate Spitzer for alleged “improprieties” in his efforts to evade prosecution.
Zakharova recently told The Post that when she met the then-married multimillionaire in 2010, he was as cocky as ever — but still a bum underneath it all.
“When I first met him, he bragged how rich he was. But I didn’t believe him because he had holes in his underwear,’’ she said.
Zakharova, now 28, said Spitzer would whine about another girlfriend and his wife when they met up for their anything-goes romps.
“He told me about problems with his wife. She complained about his drinking. She bought a dog without telling him,” Zakharova said.
But Spitzer, 59, got back at his spouse by not only going outside their marriage for sex, but by breaking Silda’s cardinal rule for their upstate estate: No one but family allowed, the ex-lover said.
“He used to take me upstate to the farm,’’ Zakharova said. “He cooked for me, omelets, and he would put a potato in the microwave.
“He was not a good cook.’’
She said their relationship lasted so long because the pinstripe-loving former politician was a “sexual deviant’’ — and “his wife and other girlfriends wouldn’t do things.
“He complained about [another girlfriend] — he said she was annoying,’’ Zakharova said.
At one point, the gal pal “wanted him to reverse his vasectomy. He told her he would, but he didn’t.”
Zakharova said the hot-to-trot ex-gov loved sex toys, “but he wouldn’t go to the store because he was afraid of being recognized.
“He used to make me buy sex toys, dildos . . . and long-term [erection] gel . . . a leash with a choker . . . I would throw them out after we used them and then buy new ones the next time we were together,’’ she said.
“We were seeing each other four times a week’’ for sex, said Zakharova, who has previously described leading Spitzer around on a black leash during their bedroom games.
“He would tie me up and call me names — ‘a b—h.’ He would say, ‘I’m going to kill you.’
“He said, ‘Whatever happens in bed stays in bed.’ ”
Zakharova revealed that their relationship got off to a rocky start at first — when he came into the massage parlor she was working at on East 52nd Street and soon asked for oral sex.
It was 2010 — two years after the former state attorney general resigned as governor when he was unmasked as the black-sock-wearing “Client No. 9’’ in a prostitution ring.
“He was a regular customer, a typical guy. He started to come in more and more asking for me, maybe a couple of times a week,’’ Zakharova said.
“I think he asked for me because my English wasn’t that good and he thought I didn’t know who he was. Meanwhile, I saw his face on a store window.
“I was shy and just gave him a straight massage. He started to ask me about my family, my dreams, my goals. He said he was a lawyer and he would help me with anything I wanted.
“After a while, he asked for [oral sex], but I told him no. He pulled out money, it was a lot, maybe an inch-thick [wad of] 20s. He said, ‘I have money, how about sex?’ ” Zakharova recalled.
Zakharova said she eventually started “to date’’ Spitzer, even though “I knew he was married and a father.”
But the shine wore off.
She described Spitzer as “a control freak” — always wanting to know what she was doing and calling her up to 20 times a day.
And while Spitzer was still married or dating other women during their time together, he grew furious over her being with anyone else, Zakharova said.
The former escort, who got paid up to $5,000 a night, also griped that Spitzer could be a slacker about payments — sometimes writing a check for $10,000, other times paying her in $300 installments.
Then there were the broken promises.
“It was not a luxurious life. I was living in cheap hotels and hostels. He talked about getting me an apartment but never did,’’ Zakharova said.
“He said he was going to help me get a green card but never did.”
Eventually, “All he did was complain. … It was not fun anymore,’’ she said.
Zakharova finally broke her silence about her relationship with Spitzer in February 2016. She called 911 claiming her infamous lover had beaten and choked her in their $1,000-a-night room at The Plaza, screaming at her, “What am I paying you for?” when Zakharova refused sex.
She later claimed that Spitzer — the son of a real estate tycoon and a Harvard Law School grad — threatened to kill her in a taped phone call after the hotel incident.
“You f–king bitch! You piece of s–t! And then you f–king destroyed my life!’’ she claims Spitzer yelled. “You know what’s going to happen to you? You’re going to be f–king dead.”
Prosecutors never brought charges against Spitzer, although they targeted Zakharova, who was accused of trying to shake him down for $400,000.
The extortion rap was dropped as part of a plea deal involving an attempted petit-larceny charge against Zakharova, who was separately accused of trying to swipe rent money from an ex-lover.
Zakharova said she is now working on book and movie deals about her time with Spitzer.
Spitzer, meanwhile, is dating Roxana Girand, the founder of the property-management company Sebastian Capital.
When asked about the alleged suitcase capers Thursday, he shook his head and muttered something incoherent before jumping in a car and driving off.
Additional reporting by Kate Sheehy and Kevin Fasick
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