MANY THERAPISTS would advise you to be very careful if you are dating a narcissist, but what if you are the one who has the traits?
Trauma recovery coach Ronia Fraser described a narcissist as someone who is likely to dazzle you with romantic gestures, before revealing behaviour of gaslighting, manipulation and abuse.
She told Femail that one of the big tell-tale signs is having a “grandiose sense of self-importance and the belief that you are special.”
But there may be more subtle signs that can giveaway the fact you are the narcissist.
Here are the signs to look out for and what to do if you relate to any of them…
You don’t care about other people’s feelings
If you are being truly honest with yourself, do you really care about other people’s dramas and concerns?
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Ronia said that if you find yourself not having the time or patience to deal with someone’s worries then you could be displaying narcissistic tendencies.
She said narcissists will typically feel uncomfortable when others show their emotions, and are likely to walk away or divert the attention back onto them.
You belittle others to make yourself feel better
Narcissists feel power when they put others down when they feel insecure, according to the relationship expert.
Ronia said: “Do you sometimes feel threatened, inferior, stupid or undermined by what others say or do? And in turn get nasty and maybe even use your knowledge about them against them?”
She said this could be a red flag if you notice it happening a lot.
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You use your own trauma as a tool to make others feel sorry for you
Ronia said that narcissists carefully choose to use their baggage in order to get their way with people.
This can be shown by those who constantly use a sob story to gain validation.
She said this can lead to narcissists not taking responsibility for themselves, and the professional added that they won’t change as they are “all talk, no action.”
She explained: “You may be relying on their love and kindness to take your pain away and solve your problem.”
You feel jealous of other people
Ronia said it could be a sign you are a narcissist if you are constantly jealous of other people and compare yourself to them.
She said this can be about their achievements, looks, family and possessions.
The relationship guru said that it can also be a tell-tale sign if you spend a lot of time wondering if people are jealous of them.
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You do good things only to get praise
Doing charitable actions may not be what typically springs to mind when you think of a narcissist, but it can be if you have the wrong mindset behind it.
She explained: “Whether it’s in your community or for clicks and likes online, if you are honest with yourself it’s all about the validation and recognition rather than having an actual deep interest in the cause.”
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