EPHRAIM HARDCASTLE: King Charles may hope his State opening speech is better than the time he played Hamlet with Judi Dench, Sir Ian McKellen and Benedict Cumberbatch – which earned him the nickname Chandler after late Matthew Perry’s Friends character

The King prides himself on his oratory and hopes to shine at next week’s State opening of Parliament – his first speech from the throne as monarch. 

But he will have to do better than his performance in 2016 with the Royal Shakespeare Company, where he performed as Hamlet with Dame Judi Dench, Sir Ian McKellen and Benedict Cumberbatch. 

His recitation of ‘To be or not to be…’ earned him the backstage nickname Chandler, the Friends character played by the late Matthew Perry who was noted for emphasising all the wrong words. 

At least it wasn’t as dire as his rendition of Spike Milligan’s Ying Tong song at a Clarence House lunch. 

It was so torturous that the Queen Mother threw a mango at him, apparently scoring a direct hit.

The King prides himself on his oratory and hopes to shine at next week’s State opening of Parliament – his first speech from the throne as monarch

But he will have to do better than his performance in 2016 with the Royal Shakespeare Company, where he performed as Hamlet with Dame Judi Dench , Sir Ian McKellen and Benedict Cumberbatch

Channel 5’s forthcoming series of Secrets Of The Royal Palaces focuses on Charles and Camilla’s Welsh love nest Llwynywermod in Carmarthenshire, which HM had to pass to William when he became King. 

The film concludes by saying that while Charles may no longer have his romantic retreat, he’s not short of properties. ‘Don’t feel sorry for the King,’ it states. ‘He still has seven palaces, ten castles, 12 houses and 56 cottages to fall back on!’

Charles’s inaugural King’s Speech could be upstaged by William’s Earthshot prize-giving on the same day in Singapore. 

HM may have the PM, Garter King of Arms and Black Rod at his event, but William will have the glamorous Hannah Waddingham hosting his show. 

More famous these days for Ted Lasso, Eurovision and Game Of Thrones, Ms Waddingham’s big breakthrough came when she starred in an episode of Lee Mack’s comedy Not Going Out wearing not very much except heels and brandishing a whip in PVC. 

A source says it is one of the most sought-after episodes on the BBC’s catch-up service. No accounting for taste.

Oh, to be a fly on the bedroom wall chez Allegra Stratton and husband James Forsyth. Former Boris special adviser Allegra rages at recent Tory party conference rhetoric. 

‘It was jarring, using harsh language to paint other parties as pantomime villains,’ she barks. 

Oh, to be a fly on the bedroom wall chez Allegra Stratton (pictured) and husband James Forsyth. Former Boris special adviser Allegra rages at recent Tory party conference rhetoric

‘It’s not the kind of register you’d use if you had a face-to-face chat with your adversary. I wonder how many people there are like me who hanker for politics without the disdain for the other lot?’ 

Her hubby happens to be Rishi’s chief adviser. To the mattresses, James!

How did bizarrely barneted MP Michael Fabricant react when BBC’s News Quiz joked that a future British astronaut mission will aim to prove ‘whether you can see Michael Fabricant from space’? 

He tweeted: ‘Thanks for the mensh.’ Any publicity will do, Michael!

Visiting Taipei, Charles Moore is impressed with Taiwanese plumbing. ‘As you approach the lavatory it raises its seat cover rather as men used to raise their hats,’ he enthuses. 

‘Once used it flushes without one having to ask it. In my hotel, even the lavatory is deferential.’ Surely, thunderboxes globally defer to Lord Moore of Etchingham?

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