A woman took to the parenting forum Mumsnet to ask for advice on parenting styles. She was concerned she is being “too strict as a parent” as her in-laws seem to think she is. The mother-of-two with username @Katyapples shared her story on the social media platform and asked other mums for advice.
The woman explained that her children have set bedtimes and “I am quite firm about rules such as no snacks before dinner, homework is done before play, pick up after yourself, restricted screen time, etc”.
She expects the children to have good manners and if they are “rude or cheeky” she tells them off, “even if we are in company”.
However, when she does this, she gets comments from the in-laws. The woman claimed that they say things like: “Leave the kids alone, they’re just being kids.”
She explained that her husband comes from a large family where the children tend to set their own bedtimes, watch TV and eat sweets whenever they want.
“They are rarely disciplined, or told to be quiet or wait their turn,” she explained but added that she prefers raising her children the way she was raised.
The woman said that her kids are “happy” and that she doesn’t think she is strict, “I just parent differently, more routine led I suppose”.
The mum also complained that she gets “the tuts and eye rolls” when she tells the children off for their manners, which she hates.
“I can only imagine the reaction if I tutted when my sister-in-law slaps her toddler’s legs.”
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The woman said she is now pregnant again, and she is “dreading the comments”. With her first two children, she “didn’t allow sweets or TV until they were almost two and I’ll be doing the same with this one,” she explained.
She claimed that the in-laws were “appalled at this” and always tried to give the children lollies.
However, the mother-of-two admitted that she is now starting to doubt herself as they live in a village where most children seem to be raised closer to the in-laws’ methods than hers.
“I don’t think I’m always down on my children or spoiling their fun, but I’m made to feel as though I am,” she said.
Her post was inundated with comments from mums with divided opinions. While some said that her parenting “sounds pretty normal” and they are “sensible boundaries”, other mums opined that she is “very strict”.
A mum explained she also has a “set bedtime, no snacks before dinner, eat your meal or go hungry, tidy up, etc”.
The woman said that she also pulls her daughter up for “her manners because there is no excuse for rudeness”.
Another mum, however, commented that she “sounds stricter than I am”. The woman explained that although she is strict about the important stuff, she is “laid back about other things”.
Parenting experts at Verywell Family revealed some of the key signs that “you are an overly strict parent”.
- Your child lies a lot
- Your child has a lot more restrictions than other kids
- You struggle with other people’s lack of discipline
- You have a strong list of rules
- Your child has little time for fun
- You don’t allow for natural consequences
- You nag a lot
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