DEAR DEIDRE: I FEAR my friend is being abused by her partner.
We’ve been mates for ten years, since college.
We’re both 30, and even though I’m male and she’s female, it has always been purely platonic.
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But she won’t even put my real name in her phone because her boyfriend, who’s 40, is so jealous. I’m there under a woman’s name instead.
Since she moved in with him, I’ve barely seen her. She rarely goes out and, when she does, he texts her constantly.
She has changed so much. She used to be bubbly and happy and now she is withdrawn and subdued.
Once, I noticed bruises on her arm but she told me she’d knocked herself on the table.
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I’ve tried talking to her about this but she says she’s fine and he’s just a bit “highly strung” and she loves him.
I’m so worried for her.
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DEIDRE SAYS: You are right to be concerned.
This does sound like an abusive relationship. Please read my support pack on Abusive Partners and discreetly pass a copy to her – it tells her where to get support.
Show her you are there for her, even if she tries to push you away.
Perhaps you could agree on a safe word so if she feels in danger she will call you.
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