DEAR DEIDRE: I FEAR my girlfriend’s addiction to social media is destroying her mental health and our relationship.
She is exhausted and hardly has any time to see me. When we are together, she’s glued to her phone.
I’m 28 and she’s 27. We’ve been a couple since university, and she’s always had quite an obsessive personality.
She’s never been very good at balance or moderation. It’s all or nothing.
When she started her YouTube channel, she said she would post on it once a week.
But she can’t stick to it. Promoting her channel is becoming a full-time job.
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She’s always answering comments, posting new material, trying to get new followers.
The problem is, she has a full-time job already, and staying up late on her phone means she can’t cope with it.
She’s too tired to concentrate and I’m worried she’s going to get sacked.
She was also supposed to be doing an accountancy qualification to build her career and help secure our future, but she’s stopped studying for it.
We see each other less than we used to, and when we do she is only half-present.
I can tell she’s itching to look at her phone.
We were supposed to be moving in together soon, but I can’t see that happening.
I feel neglected, but most of all I’m worried. She is so anxious and she can’t sleep at night.
I can’t get through to her. How do I help her before she messes everything up?
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DEIDRE SAYS: There is nothing wrong with you – in fact this is very normal, and up to ten per cent of women are in your shoes.
For most women pleasure begins in the brain, and without mental stimulation sex can feel pointless.
He may well feel put off because both your efforts were in vain before, which is why he has stopped prioritising your pleasure, but long-term, this will leave you feeling more rejected.
Find a moment to tell him exactly how you feel.
Tell him that he needs to start thinking about your needs. My support pack Orgasm For Women will help.
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