Actor Jeremy Renner, who was severely injured on January 1 when a heavy snow plough ran over him, said in a TV interview that the truck had hit him as he was trying to save his nephew, an accident that broke more than 30 of his bones and upended his life.

Renner, an Oscar-nominated actor who is perhaps best known for his role as Hawkeye in the Marvel Avengers movie and TV franchise, spoke publicly at length about his frightening experience and arduous recovery for the first time in an interview with ABC News.

Jeremy Renner. Credit: AP

“I’ve lost a lot of flesh and bone in this experience,” Renner told journalist Diane Sawyer. “But I’ve been refuelled and refilled with love and titanium.”

In the interview, Renner appeared to still be in shock over what had occurred to him and struggled to hold back tears at times as he recalled details after the accident, like the moment he told his family from the hospital in sign language, “I’m sorry.”

As he lay in the hospital, Renner, who has since been released, said he would wonder: “What’s my body look like? Am I just going to be like a spine and a brain like a science experiment?” While in critical condition, Renner said, he wrote a goodbye note to his family on his phone.

The network also posted clips before the broadcast that showed different phases of his recovery, including Renner in a wheelchair doing leg exercises. A video posted on Twitter shows him in recovery doing an exercise that helps him regain the strength to walk. Another video from January 5 shows Renner in the hospital, his face swollen and bruised.

On January 1, Renner, 52, was using his snow plough, which weighs more than six tonnes, to tow his car on a snowed-in private road near his home in Reno, Nevada, the Washoe County Sheriff’s Office said in a news conference. A family member had been driving the car and had gotten stuck.

After they successfully towed the car, Renner got off the plough, which then began to roll, the sheriff’s office said. Renner had tried to get back into the plough’s driver’s seat to stop the rolling vehicle, but he was run over, the sheriff’s office said.

In the ABC News interview, Renner said that when he made a dangerous leap to get back in the driver’s seat, the fast-moving tracks had pushed him forward — and the weight of the steel tracks had crushed him. He recalled screaming during that moment, “Not today,” using an expletive.

There was no snow that could have cushioned part of the blow, he said, just icy asphalt under him and the rolling plough on top. The machine crushed his toes, legs and chest. Even one of his eyes was severely injured and bulged out of its socket.

“I believe I could see my eye with my other eye,” Renner said.

ABC News noted that he appeared to have skirted the wheels, the heaviest part of the plough, during the accident.

Renner struggled to fully capture the extent of the pain, saying that “it felt like someone took the wind out of you” and that it had seemed as if his soul was in agony.

Renner said he would put himself through the experience again because the plough had been “going right at my nephew,” who is 27 years old.

The nephew, who was not injured, said in the ABC News interview that he had seen “a pool of blood” coming from his uncle’s head.

The nephew tracked down a neighbour and asked for help. That neighbour called 911.

In a recording of that 911 call, the neighbour can be heard saying of Renner, “He’s been crushed.”

In the background of that call, Renner can be heard moaning as the man who contacted 911 says, “There’s a lot of blood over here,” and tells Renner: “Keep breathing, man, keep fighting. Hang in there, brother.”

Eventually, gusty winds paused long enough to allow a helicopter to land near the site of the accident and fly Renner to a hospital.

There, Renner and his family learned the full extent of his injuries: dozens of broken bones, including eight ribs, his right knee and ankle and right shoulder; a collapsed lung; and his liver pierced by a rib bone.

His rib cage was rebuilt with metal. His eye socket was put back together with metallic plates. And a titanium rod and screws were placed in his leg.

Doctors interviewed by ABC News said that Renner’s good physical shape and health had probably helped him survive. About 10 weeks after the accident, Renner is beginning to regain enough strength to walk with a cane.

When asked in the interview if he sees the same face when looking in the mirror, Renner replied, “I see a lucky man.”

This article originally appeared in The New York Times.

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