Kelly Clarkson admittedly did not handle her divorce from now-ex Brandon Blackstock in the best manner.

“I don’t know how people get through anything like that because I’m not going to say I did it gracefully. Behind closed doors by myself, it was not,” the Kelly Clarkson Show host, 41, confessed to Zane Lowe during a Wednesday, June 21, interview on Apple Music 1. “Just to be brutally honest, I did not handle it well. I had many sessions with just my friends [where] I couldn’t even speak. I was crying so hard, even before separating. There were just a lot of now unhealthy habits you recognize or habits that you recognize that you didn’t see before. Hindsight is a lot easier.”

Everything Kelly Clarkson Has Said About Her Split From Brandon Blackstock

Clarkson married the 46-year-old music manager — who has two older children from a previous relationship — in 2013. Us Weekly confirmed in June 2020 that Clarkson had filed for divorce, which was finalized two years later.

The “Miss Independent” songstress and Blackstock had gone toe-to-toe over marital assets during the proceedings — including Clarkson’s Montana residence where Blackstock lived — and custody of their two minor children: River Rose, 9, and Remington, 7. Clarkson was ultimately awarded primary custody of their kids, with Blackstock receiving monthly visitations. The American Idol champ also agreed to pay her former spouse a one-time sum of $1.3 million and $115,00 per month in spousal support until January 2024.

Kelly Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock’s Relationship Highs and Lows

Since settling their divorce, Clarkson has been candid about learning to move on. (Her upcoming LP, Chemistry, has also helped with its many breakup ballads.)

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“I don’t know that there’s one moment. I think it’s gradual,” she said on Wednesday. “And that’s what people tell you, too. I mean, it’s interesting, because this album starts off with a song called ‘Skip This Part,’ And I literally say, ‘Can I skip this part?’ I literally said to my therapist [before we were separated], ‘We’re trying to figure it out. I desperately want to make this happen,’ but I think I knew in my heart it just wasn’t going to.”

Kelly Clarkson’s Post-Divorce ‘Chemistry’ Album: Best Lyrics From Each Song

She added: “It’s just sh—ty, and that’s where I’m at, and I don’t want to go through it. … Love makes you do really incredible things and incredibly stupid things. And so, I don’t think there was a moment. I think it just gradually happened to where, one day, I think one thing that did help me is she was like, ‘You don’t have to attend every argument that you’re invited to.’ And that really stuck with me.”

Clarkson has also been involved in a three-year legal battle with her former father-in-law, Narvel Blackstock, after he sued her for breach of contract and unpaid commissions. The Voice mentor countersued regarding his allegations, which is set to conclude later this month.

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Chemistry, which charts both the ups and downs of relationships, drops on Friday, June 23.

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