A man has fallen out with his brother after he stole his engagement ring to propose to his own fiancé.
The man, 26, who posted the story on Reddit, had bought an engagement ring to propose to his girlfriend, 24, on their anniversary at the end of the month.
But when he told his brother, 33 he informed him that he was also planning to propose to his girlfriend, 29.
To the poster’s surprise, his brother asked if he could ‘borrow’ the ring he had bought to use as a ‘placeholder’ before taking his girlfriend to pick out her own ring.
‘I thought he was joking at first, but no,’ the man wrote.
‘His plan was to propose to his girlfriend, explain he was using my ring as a “placeholder” and then take her to pick her own ring later.
‘His reasoning was that he didn’t want to spend too much money right away in case she didn’t say yes. I’d never heard of “placeholder rings”, so I said no and the conversation moved on.’
But that wasn’t the end. Only a few days later, he opened the family group chat only to see a picture of his brother’s now-fiancee’s hand, wearing the ring in question.
‘He’d taken it before leaving my apartment. I got distracted at work and didn’t notice it was gone until his fiancée sent a picture of herself wearing the ring to our family group chat,’ he said.
‘I called him to ask about the ring, and he immediately apologized and said he’d “keep his promise” and give it back to me.
‘But at this point, my girlfriend had seen it and his fiancée had posted about it on social media, so it was pointless for me to propose using the same ring.’
It turned out that his brother had told his fiancé that the ring was a placeholder, but he hadn’t told her where he got it from.
‘I felt more angry and betrayed about him going behind my back and taking the ring after I said no than the fact that he stole it,’ said the poster.
‘I also know his fiancée enough to know she wouldn’t like to learn her engagement ring had been stolen from me, so I told my brother I’d tell her the truth if he didn’t buy me a new engagement ring.’
The threat worked, but he and his brother are still fighting.
‘My brother bought the ring, but is still accusing me of being inconsiderate and childish,’ he wrote.
‘He is insistent he would have given me the ring back had I given him the opportunity, and I didn’t need to threaten him to spend so much money on me.
‘He’s now refusing to talk to me.
‘I don’t know how to feel about this any more.
‘I’d usually talk to my brother about these things, and it’s surreal that he’s the one I’m fighting.
‘I can’t tell my fiancée, and many of our friends overlap.’
Commenters agree that the poster is not in the wrong, with one person saying: ‘He stole your ring.
‘Does he have some illness or impairment that could excuse this or is he just the worst brother in the world?’
Another said: ‘Your brother’s actions were very selfish, and I don’t think he thought about the consequences of using your ring and posting pictures and everything.
‘If threatening to tell his fiancé was the only way to make him look at what he did and feel ashamed then that’s what you had to do.’
How to resolve a conflict with your sibling
Family feuds can be exhausting, but also scary. What if they never apologise? What if you end up going no contact? Who will be my best man at the wedding?
As Kim Korven, a former judge and lawyer turned mediation consultant known as The Conflict Queen, previously told Metro.co.uk: ‘Conflict happens within families all the time… But the good news is, it is possible to resolve family fights and get to a happier, healthier place.’
These are Kim’s top tips for resolving a conflict with a family member:
- Don’t lose sight of what is important
- Give up your need to be right
- Start with conversations about good memories
- Stand in their shoes
- Be curious, not furious
- Practise active listening
- Take a break
Do you have a story to share?
Get in touch by emailing [email protected].
Source: Read Full Article