DEAR DEIDRE: THE hotel my husband often stays at dropped him right in it – giving me the evidence I needed to prove he’d been living a double life.
I’m 34, he is 37 and we have been together for three years.
He is originally from India and has a job in international banking, regularly travelling to his homeland for work and often extending his trip.
For months he had denied having an affair, telling me he was visiting his parents. But I had my suspicions.
He’d rarely message while away and was distant when he returned.
When I asked him if there was someone else in India, he would always vehemently deny it.
Get in touch with the Dear Deidre team
Every problem gets a personal reply from one of our trained counsellors.
Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Then an email popped up on his phone with the subject line “Forgotten jewellery”.
He’d left some items in a hotel’s bedside drawer.
I asked them to send a photo of the jewellery, none of which I recognised. I was distraught.
I tackled my husband on his return and he accused me of being insecure.
We had a huge row and he even tried to convince me he’d bought the jewellery as a gift for me.
Eventually he admitted he’d been having an affair for a year and said he was sorry.
He’s now told me he’s finished it and even got the other woman to call and confirm he’d ended things.
My head is still reeling but his work has asked him to travel again at the end of the month.
How can I trust him when he’s so far away?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEAR DEIDRE
Living with my boyfriend was a dream until I found out about his double life
DEIDRE'S STORIES
Izzy gets taste of her own medicine as new man gets the ick
DEIDRE SAYS: After such a devastating discovery, it’s no wonder your confidence in your husband has been destroyed.
You need to be certain that this fling is over and your feelings are a sign that all isn’t well in your relationship.
Talk to him and explain what you want and need from him. Ask him to be honest with you.
He must be prepared to work hard to convince you he loves you, and only you.
Could you go out and stay with him for an extended break at the end of his trip?
Might he change roles or reduce his travel until you’re back on track?
Unless he is prepared to make major concessions to show he is dedicated, you need to question if he will ever be capable of making you happy.
Explain you are finding it hard to trust and this is seriously undermining your relationship.
My support pack Cheating, Can You Get Over It? should help.
Most read in Dear Deidre
My girlfriend has shunned me after finding out about my bisexual porn star past
I want to leave my alcoholic boyfriend but I can’t as we booked a holiday
My wife accused me of being abusive after I froze our joint bank account
My marriage is on the brink because I keep helping out my troubled daughter
Source: Read Full Article