My wife caught me sexting other women and accused me of having an affair

DEAR DEIDRE: IT’S official, I am a first-class idiot. I’ve been sexting women as young as 18 and now my wife is behaving like I’ve been having an affair.

I only started chatting to them because I was bored and lonely. But she is having none of it.


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I’m a man of 37 and my wife is 34. We have three little boys, who are my world.

We got married a year ago between lockdowns and our boys were the ring bearers. It was such a lovely day.

After the excitement of the wedding, though, we got back into routine at home and everything felt flat.

I have lived with depression since my teens but this time I felt really miserable. My grandfather had just died and I thought I might lose my job.

My wife has always gone to bed early, as the boys are up by 6am, and I got bored sitting downstairs on my own. An advert for a chat site came up on my phone and I thought: “What harm can it do?”

Initially I would chat to anyone, men and women alike. The male chat was mainly about football but a couple of the women encouraged me to turn on my camera. By night three, I was hooked.

I know I’m a good-looking guy. A couple of the girls told me they were 18 and I said I was too old to talk to them but they were really flirty.

The chat then went from flirting to sex talk and about what I would do to them given half the chance. They lapped up the attention.

My bubble burst when I left my phone on the sofa to go to the loo and my wife came down for a drink of water and saw one of them on screen. She went berserk.

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I said it was just chat but she is convinced I’ve met at least one of them.

I feel even more depressed now. She won’t talk to me except saying she’ll never trust me again.

DEIDRE SAYS: Beg your wife for her forgiveness – then beg again.

Find a moment to explain that you were feeling low and things got out of control, but you would never physically cheat and you are so very sorry.

Come off these sites and delete the apps to show her you are sincere.

Implement some changes by being the parent who gets up early with your sons.

Let your wife have a lie-in and make sure she knows you are not going to mess things up again by giving her all of your attention.

And an early night with her every now and again may do wonders for your relationship.

My support pack on depression will help you too. Do seek help if you are feeling low again.

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