Relationship therapist: reasons to stay even if you notice a red flag

Have doubts about your partner? These are the seven reasons why you should stay with them anyway, according to a therapist

  • Jeff Guenther is a licensed counsellor and marriage expert
  • He listed seven reasons to stay with your partner 
  • READ MORE: Relationship coach paid $3,000 per client to help men find love reveals the seven biggest dating mistakes they’re making 

A therapist has listed seven reasons you should reconsider breaking up with your partner even if you’re having doubts and noticing (minor) red flags.

Jeff Guenther, from Portland in the US, is a licensed professional counsellor with a masters in marriage and family therapy.

The professional regularly shares advice with fans after working in crisis support and at his own private practice for many years.

He said that while it’s common to have doubts in any relationship – especially long-term ones – leaving shouldn’t be the first option, and that there are several aspects of a relationship worth fighting for.

‘There are reasons to stay, such as having solid communication or being good friends underneath the romance,’ he said in a video. 

Jeff Guenther, from Portland in the US, is a licenced professional counsellor with a masters in marriage and family therapy

1) You have good banter

It is often difficult for people to find someone they can playfully tease and who has the same sense of humour.

‘Good banter is hard to find – if you can riff off each other, laugh, and be cute – that’s an important connection to maintain,’ Mr Guenther said.

2) There’s potential for growth

People make mistakes in relationships, and if they’re genuinely sorry you might not want to pull the plug so quickly.

‘If there’s room for growth and you’re being challenged to grow in positive and healthy ways, you should stay,’ the professional said.

‘You can help each other become a better partner and person.’

3) You feel comfortable in yourself

‘If you feel safe enough to be your authentic self, that’s rare,’ he said. 

‘A relationship that allows you to be real is liberating and can be hard to come by.’

4) If you’re good friends underneath the romance

The therapist revealed that being friends was an essential aspect of dating, and giving up on a relationship might also result in breaking that bond. 

‘One of the most important parts of a partnership is a solid friendship,’ he said. ‘It creates a strong and enduring foundation.’

READ MORE: Nine ‘completely normal’ things that don’t have to be ‘red flags’ in a relationship

 

5) You put a lot of energy and resources into the relationship

While sometimes staying on might be a case of the sunken cost fallacy, your previous effort should still be fairly considered. 

‘Ending a relationship in which you’ve invested is significant,’ the therapist said. ‘Consider the real work and effort that’s gone into it.’

6) You have solid communication

Being able to communicate well with someone is a skill that not many people possess. 

‘The ability to communicate in a healthy, straightforward way doesn’t come easily, so having that gives you a better chance of working things out,’ Mr Guenther said.

7) You want to be in a long-term relationship

‘Feeling meh and having occasional doubts are normal in any long-term commitment,’ the professional said. ‘No one is 100 per cent happy all the time.’

When you’re feeling down, you should consider setting specific goals to spice your relationship up.

7 reasons to stick with your partner, even if you’re having doubts about them. Join me on the new platform, Passes, for extended commentary on this topic! #mentalhealth #therapy #therapytiktok #dating #relationshipadvice #datingadvice

Many thanked Jeff for the advice and shared their thoughts.

‘Are you bored or are you safe? Are they bland or did you let your hobbies fall away? Ruts are normal, just accept them and keep loving a good person,’ one said.

‘You always say what I need to hear at the right time,’ another wrote.

‘Thank you, I’ve never heard a message like this. You always hear about why you should let go,’ a woman shared. 

The advice is not recommended for anyone feeling unsafe in any way.  

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