DEAR DEIDRE: MY married boss gifts me a promotion or work perk every time I try to end our sexual relationship.

I’m a 28-year-old woman and an executive assistant at a bank. My lover is 36 and a senior manager.

We’ve been having an affair for a year and although we still have the most intense sex and get on brilliantly when we’re alone, I can see I’m wasting my time.

He stays in a flat during the week and goes back to his family home at the weekend because his wife refuses to move to the city.

He hardly talks about her except to say she’s “difficult and selfish”.

Our affair started one evening after he asked me if I’d like a drink. Afterwards, I agreed to go back to his flat to wait for a cab.

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We opened a bottle of wine and soon started exploring each other’s bodies on the sofa. He was amazing and we had sex right there.

Since then we meet at least three times a week.

The problem is while he doesn’t like his wife, he’ll never leave because of their 11-year-old daughter.

The first time I called it off, he got me a promotion from receptionist, to executive assistant.

The second time, he organised a spa weekend for me and my friends as a work perk, and the third time he put me on the company taxi account.

There’s another guy at work who is 29. We’ve been out a couple of times.

He’s cute. He wants to see where our relationship goes and has no emotional baggage.

Who should I choose?

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DEIDRE SAYS:  You know my reply is never going to be, “Go with the married lover”. This guy is off-limits.

You’ve already worked out this man is not leaving his wife, so this relationship is dead in the water. And I’m sure these work treats, which incidentally, his boss would no doubt take a dim view of, are of little consolation for the loneliness you feel.

Finish with this married man and give yourself space to develop your own interests and friendships, please don’t rush into another relationship.

Take a breather and if you still want to find a special person for a committed relationship then you can explore if you and your colleague might have a future – as long as workplace relationships aren’t frowned upon.

My support pack Your Lover Not Free may sway you towards making the right decision.

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