DEAR DEIDRE: WHENEVER I find a house to buy, my partner makes up silly excuses.
She says they are either too near our families or the railway line, too small, too far from the train station, too old or too modern. The list is endless.
I am 32, she is 31 and we have been together for four years.
My friends think she has a cheek calling the shots. They feel she is lucky to have a say in the matter as she isn’t going to be on the mortgage.
She was blacklisted after getting into bad debt in the past and this won’t expire for a few more years.
I have worked long hours, done plenty of overtime and saved up.
Every penny is going into buying my first property. It is my risk but she doesn’t seem to understand or appreciate that.
She simply says: “If you’re not happy, you know what you can do.”
She told me that as it will be her home too, she should choose the location.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Debt problems can be toxic in relationships.
Dealing with money in a relationship is difficult because people can become angry and defensive very quickly.
Relationships are about trust but if you are incredibly sensible with your money and she is not, you are clearly financially incompatible.
Look at your relationship as a whole; if she doesn’t respect your money and hard work, then ask yourself does she really respect you?
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