I want to take a new job but what I earn will barely cover the cost of childcare – why do mums always have to sacrifice their careers?

• A mother took asked British parenting forum Mumsnet users for career advice
• Read more: I’m full of regret at ever having children because I miss my old life

A mother has been criticised after arguing that women are ‘expected to sacrifice their careers’ to look after their children – despite considering doing so herself.

Writing on the British parenting forum Mumsnet, the woman shared a post with the title ‘to hate how mums always have to sacrifice their career…’ and asked for advice on whether to take a job as a GP receptionist, a role she’d ‘love to take’.

Currently, the mother of two works in a café two days a week, including the weekends. 

She explained the situation had left her ‘in tears’ as she debated keeping her current job, taking the new job and getting weekends back  or becoming a stay at home mother.

Many flocked to the comments to criticise the woman for the assumption that women are meant to stay at home, while others firmly agreed that she should take the role. 

A mother-of-two has divided Mumsnet  usersafter claiming that mothers are expected to sacrifice their careers (stock image) 

In the post, the woman wrote: ‘I have two kids .. one 18 month old and a 6 year old. I work in a cafe for an estate, one week day and one weekend day and there’s no flexibility in that I have to do a weekend day.

‘I’ve been offered a job as a GP receptionist and I would love to take it. But it’s only £10.42 an hour and with it being weekdays we would need to pay childcare.

‘Basically with the summer hols coming up, childcare for both kids would cost more than my wage. 

‘DH will cover it, but part of me is thinking what’s the point when it means I’m not bringing any money to the pot technically.

‘I’d also have to have both kids in different childcare settings which are opposite side of town by 7.30am. 

‘In my current job he works from home the 1 week day and is home the weekend day so no childcare.

‘So I have the choice, take the new job and get my weekends back but don’t exactly earn, keep my current job and work every single weekend.. or be a SAHM.

‘Please help. I could cry! I was a dental nurse before kids and again childcare was an issue. We have no family support.

‘What would you do?’

Some users offered advice and said the mother should take the role.

Writing on Mumsnet, the mother-of-two explained that she had been offered her dream job, but is conflicted on whether to take it 

One person said: ‘If you take the job, it will make life easier in the long term in my opinion. 

‘There are so many threads on here of women struggling to get work after raising children because of the gap on their CV, putting them in a vulnerable position.’

A second person added: ‘I would take the receptionist job. The early years (in my opinion) flash by and before you know it they can get free hours at nursery and then start school. 

‘It might be a financial hit for a while but it will give you more family time on weekends, which will be a massive benefit when both children are at school.’

A third person wrote: ‘Take the receptionist job or go back to dental nursing. Yes you will not have any money for a few years but in the long term it’s worth it.’

Many users took to the comment section to share their opinions on the mother’s dilemma, with some suggesting she should take the job 

Others took to the comment section to criticise the idea that women should stay at home. 

One wrote: ‘Just absolutely hate how some people internalize being the default parent, in the line for ensuring childcare needs are covered.

‘And how their partners just let them get on with it.’

A second person added: ‘Mum’s absolutely don’t have to sacrifice their careers, I haven’t, loads of my colleagues and friends haven’t. 

‘You probably do need to earn above a certain level to add to the pot when the dc are very small, and at minimum wage you’re probably not going to do that. 

‘Can you retrain, do some courses etc? The stuff that’s available free now is huge.’

A third person commented: ‘They don’t. You have sacrificed your original career, I assume, to allow your DH to prioritize yours.

‘Now you can only get minimum wage jobs. That was the choice you two made, to sacrifice your earning potential when you had kids.

‘I never left my career when we had kids and earn almost double what my husband does now – if anyone needed to give up work it would be him.’

A fourth user said: ‘To hate how mums always have to sacrifice their career massive generalization.

‘I don’t know any mums who have. I’d take the job – there’s more benefits like pension, sick pay, career progression etc. and the child care costs will reduce once youngest gets their free hours. And a bit more financial security for yourself.’

Some parents thought there was no point taking the new job if the mother-of-two was losing money 

Other users took to the comment section to say they would not bother taking the role if the mother would be losing money. 

One user wrote: ‘I wouldn’t take the job if it meant you weren’t earning any money, and especially if then your husband would have to top up your wage to pay for the childcare too.

‘It wouldn’t make financial sense as a family. Your family income would actually be less than if you weren’t working at all. 

‘The only way this would work if it’s the job of your dreams and could see yourself doing it long term, and also if you can afford to loose some of DHs wage and still be comfortable.’

A second said: ‘I wouldn’t take the job but look for something else part time altogether, like 3 days a week or so with no weekends. 

‘I appreciate it may take a while to find such a job, but they do exist. I think you need a happy medium. 

‘I think the GP job is too much of an undertaking for no extra money.’

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