DEAR DEIDRE: HAVING a threesome was always a sexual fantasy for me but I’m having second thoughts now my girlfriend has suggested making it a reality.

I’m a 38-year-old guy and my girlfriend is 42.

We’ve been together for just a few weeks but our sex life is off the scale. I’ve never had this much chemistry with someone, or this much fun.

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In bed we talk a lot about our fantasies and desires. My ultimate fantasy is to make love with two women at the same time.

I’ve never had the chance to do it, as previous partners were not keen.

But my new girlfriend loves the idea and wants to do it. She even has someone in mind — a friend of hers, who is also excited by it.

However, now my fantasy could actually happen, I’ve become anxious.

I haven’t met her friend but I’ve seen pictures and she’s very attractive. I’m quite insecure about my body and worried she might not fancy me.

What if I can’t handle seeing my girlfriend having sex with another woman? Maybe she’ll even prefer it to having sex with me.

Or what if she can’t handle seeing me enjoying sex with her friend, who is more my type physically? Might she decide I’m no longer enough for her?

I’ve discussed my fears with my girlfriend and she says she’s nervous too but we won’t know until we try. But if we do this and it goes badly, there is no going back.

I’m not sure what to do. Part of me wishes I’d never said anything.

DEIDRE SAYS: Unless you are 100 per cent certain you want this, don’t do it.

While threesomes can sound like a lot of fun, they are fraught with danger. As you are starting to appreciate, emotions and jealousy inevitably come into play.

The reality might not be as great as you have imagined. It could be embarrassing and awkward or worse, spoil your new relationship.

You need to sit down and talk about this properly – not in bed – and work out what you both expect from this.

This is certainly not something you should rush into. If you decide to go ahead, you must agree to set some rules.

My support pack Looking After Your Relationship will help you communicate better.

You should also read my packs Thinking Of A Threesome and Sexual Fantasies And You, which set out all the issues involved in making your fantasy come true.

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