I've been having quickies with my neighbour while our kids play in the garden

DEAR DEIDRE: WHEN all our children are out playing on the garden trampoline, I’m bouncing around with my neighbour in his bed.

He is 32 and a single dad to a girl of nine. I am a married woman of 45 with three girls.


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We moved between lockdowns to a new estate. I was exhausted, working full time and sorting out the house and childcare. My husband is 48 and works shifts.

So when I saw an ad for a better-paid job working from home, I went for it.

I was invited to an interview but on the day, my car wouldn’t start. My neighbour was outside and seeing I was in a flap, offered to give me a lift.

Telling my husband I’d got the job was such a let down — he was less than interested and just played on his phone.

But my neighbour was really excited for me. Messaging me through Instagram, he insisted, “We should celebrate”.

The next day, my phone pinged with a message saying, “How about that drink?” The kids were in school so I thought, why not?

Prosecco led to flirting and him telling me he fancied me. I couldn’t believe it.

I hadn’t had any attention for so long and he is in great shape. We went upstairs and he kissed me, all over. It was incredible.

Our liaison has gone on for a year now. Over the summer we even managed quickies while the girls played in the garden.

Now I can’t wait for the girls to all go to school, so me and my neighbour can get straight back on it.

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I’m now working from home three days a week, as does he. We both log on, each do a bit of work and then get down to real business.

Am I being a fool?

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DEIDRE SAYS: Yes. You stand to lose everything by having an affair. The fall-out would be catastrophic if you were rumbled.

If you’re not connecting with your husband, then it’s time to tackle that rather than running into the arms of somebody else.

Find a quiet moment to tell your husband you would like him to take more of an interest in you and remember why you got together.

Suggest some nights where he helps with the girls then you have a meal together – with no phones.

If things don’t improve, get help from tavistockrelationships.org who provide couples counselling (020 7380 1975).

My support pack Can’t Be Faithful may put things in perspective for you too.

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